
I met up with my friend Patrice to watch the football game and we went to a super townie bar where everyone is somehow an Eagles fan (so naturally I cheered on the Bears...conflict is my middle name).
So I am sitting there observing these people in their natural territory and realize how freaking weird people are.
Not the weird habits/likes/obsessions sort of weird but the 'no social skills because they rarely leave the house' weird.
Here's an example:
The bartender asks a guy what his tab is under...he gives his last name and then realizes that the name isn't on the card...so he proceeds to say "it's the red card".
Well, someone next to him decided that was the gateway to making a funny so he shouts "yes, the red card, put mine on the red card too...he he..he..he.." because that line is not overused at all, and I'm sitting there rolling my eyes at him knowing he's the kind of guy at a restaurant who, when the server comes up and says "Did someone here order a Blue Moon" he says "No but we'll take it" (yes, we've all done it) and then looks at everyone at his table and laughs hysterically and the server has to laugh too because even though she's heard it eight times that day already, she's working for tips...and laughing at dumb jokes = tips.
So anyway, I digress...back to the dude making the obvious unfunny joke
...so THEN this little creepy 4'9'' lady next to him with an Asian accent notices people laughing and she wants in on the deal. She starts shouting "the red card, ha ha ha, put mine on the red card, yeah! put mine on the red card!"(now reread with an Asian accent)...and then people just stopped laughing.
It's so hard watching people make a fool of themselves.
I get embarrassed for them.
And it's not even that I'm particularly cool or smooth but I try to stay away from the obvious train wrecks as much as I can.
Censoring oneself separates the true dorks from the village idiots.
Patrice texted me this morning with "Put mine on the red card."
So I am sitting there observing these people in their natural territory and realize how freaking weird people are.
Not the weird habits/likes/obsessions sort of weird but the 'no social skills because they rarely leave the house' weird.
Here's an example:
The bartender asks a guy what his tab is under...he gives his last name and then realizes that the name isn't on the card...so he proceeds to say "it's the red card".
Well, someone next to him decided that was the gateway to making a funny so he shouts "yes, the red card, put mine on the red card too...he he..he..he.." because that line is not overused at all, and I'm sitting there rolling my eyes at him knowing he's the kind of guy at a restaurant who, when the server comes up and says "Did someone here order a Blue Moon" he says "No but we'll take it" (yes, we've all done it) and then looks at everyone at his table and laughs hysterically and the server has to laugh too because even though she's heard it eight times that day already, she's working for tips...and laughing at dumb jokes = tips.
So anyway, I digress...back to the dude making the obvious unfunny joke
...so THEN this little creepy 4'9'' lady next to him with an Asian accent notices people laughing and she wants in on the deal. She starts shouting "the red card, ha ha ha, put mine on the red card, yeah! put mine on the red card!"(now reread with an Asian accent)...and then people just stopped laughing.
It's so hard watching people make a fool of themselves.
I get embarrassed for them.
And it's not even that I'm particularly cool or smooth but I try to stay away from the obvious train wrecks as much as I can.
Censoring oneself separates the true dorks from the village idiots.
Patrice texted me this morning with "Put mine on the red card."

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