The Huntress and the Hunted

"I wear it because I killed it"

Dog Whisperer

Saturday Night...

...my sister actually counted it down and was right on the money.

Mothman Prophesies

A story about my sister Claire.
Unlike most people who are scared of spiders, snakes, monsters, or babies...
Claire is scared of moths. Friendly, shiny moths.

Once upon a time...

It did not end well for the moth. Sometime between the hysterical crying and hyperventilating she managed to squish him and prevent him from unscrewing the jar top and eating her $8 peanut butter.

Seagulls

My sister got pooped on at brunch.
She's a trooper.

Mutants

My friends and I were walking to our car last night after fireworks and a mouse ran across the sidewalk...

And of course I screamed "aww what a cute little mouse"...and then it just stopped at stared at us

My friend decided to shoo it to safety and walked towards it stomping his shoes...

and the dirty little rat just stood there hissing looking like a little mutant demon...

...so he tried again with a running start stomping loudly...

and as if it couldn't get any more terrifying it kept baring it's teeth hissing at us.

The balls on these California rodents. Jeesh. I will never get that creepy hissing rat face out of my mind.

Chupacabra

There is some sort of Chupacabra or monstrous beast living under my shower and at night I hear it trying to claw its way into my nightmares.

I am eagerly anticipating the day when Caroline is relaxing while taking a shower...

And the beast finally gnaws his way through the tub and introduces himself.

Who do I call for this sort of predicament?

Deadly Combination

Once, when I was a kid, I was watching Ren & Stimpy while eating Chinese food and chocolate cake.
Then I threw up.

I steer clear of that combination. Lesson learned.

Friday Night

Riding home in style.

Happy Birthday Sweet 17

My family threw a surprise 17th birthday party for me and somehow my recently exed ex was invited which was both awkward and uncomfortable since he stomped on my little high-school heart and then ate it with a side of fava beans.
To make it even MORE awkward, he brought this as my gift:

It was literally a piece of poster board on which he had poorly taped every piece of memorabilia that we had shared; pictures, letters, ticket stubs, pressed flowers, stickers, etc. And it was the creepiest/weirdest gift to give an ex because of the eight second emotional roller coaster ride it put me through that looked something like this:

Awww, that's so sweet! Memories!...

We were happy once...Awww, I miss you. *sniff sniff*...


Wait, I gave you all of that in a memory box for Christmas...
What the hell! You just scotched taped the contents of your Christmas gift onto a piece of poster board and rubbed in my face how happy we once were before you left me for Christy the Town Bicycle!

Seriously...WTF is that...was your intention to be thoughtful or mean...or creepy...or cheap...
and then he left.

Cool Kid on the Block

I was the first kid in the 8th grade to have her own phone line and phone which made me pretty awesome.
How did I celebrate such a privilege?
By covering it in zoo animal stickers...duh.

Hot Topic

This is the sort of conversation you have when you've run out of things to talk about:

Me: I don't know any Peters, other than Pan...and Piper
Brandon: Pan is my fav of the two
Me: definitely

A Bug's Life

I have an irrational fear of bugs.
They know this and like to mess with me.
Let's see who gets the last laugh.
A story from last night...